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The 2022 Spooktober Movie Marathon - Week One Massacre

Updated: Oct 9, 2022

It's October. Time for me to consume as many horror films as possible until I burst like a sack of meat Leatherface left in the sun. I have a simple scale for rating these flicks:

  • A Must See = ***

  • Bloody Fun = **

  • Only for Horror Fans = *

One. Two. Three. Let's murder this list!

MY BEST FRIEND'S EXORCISM - Would you sell your soul if it meant awesome skin and perfectly crimped hair? Like, totally, to the max, of course you would. The first of Grady Hendrix's novels to be adapted, which was surprising to me considering that all of his books — at least the ones I've read — are pastiche homages to pop culture, this Amazon original should sate your 80s throwback hunger. *

SMILE - Holy cow! Call the chiropractor because this movie had me knotted up like a pretzel in my seat. I'm so happy this film blew away test audiences so that I could see it in theaters (and it doesn't hurt that it had a killer opening weekend). ***

THE CAR: ROAD TO REVENGE - This b-movie gore-fest about a car hellbent on murder - you read that right - is bats**t fun so long as you don't make many demands regarding plot, characterization, coherence, etc. Also, I had no idea that this was a sequel to a 1977 cult classic. *

SCREAMERS - Ever wish Robocop kicked some Alien butt? Your prayers have been answered. This lost gem turns out to be a good lot of fun for the sci-fi/horror junkie.**

BLOODY HELL - A horror / comedy / self-aware mash-up that screams to be a midnight movie darling. If this is your jam, come and get it. *

THE WRETCHED - I was skeptical about this YA horror flick but call me plesnatly surprised. Not only does it deliver on what it promises, but it's held up by a handful of great performance by its younger actors. I think some of these kids could be tomorrow's stars. You heard it here first.**

INCANTATION - I always declare that I'm over found-footage horror films but damnit, they usually get me wound up like a little kid lost at a carnival. While the run-time feels gratuitous (it's close to 2 hours), this nutty flick scared the bejeezus out of me and proved that this gsubgenre still has legs. **

BLOOD GLACIER - It's a glacier. Of blood. If that peanut butter cup of an idea gives ya a tingle, check it out*

DRAG ME TO HELL - After a run at respectability, it's awesome to see that Sam Rami can still make a top notch, gonzo horror film. **

RAVEN'S HOLLOW - A clever "what if" about Edgar Allen Poe and the inspiration for his most famous stories. *

SEA FEVER - Did no one in this movie ever see a horror film? You're never supposed to touch the goo seeping from the monstrous thing that looks like a mutant lady's whoo-hoo. While there are some interesting takes on class, this body horror will have you screaming "don't do that" at the TV. *

If it wasn't obvious, my favorite movie from this lot is SMILE.

Until next week…

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